im in Canada!

I arived to Canada on Monday, the 15th. Im staying with my friend Lena till the 25th, and then Im moving into my new host family`s house. Im really excited but at the same time im terrified! I have never seen that lady before, but I really hope we will be able to get along pretty well. Im trying to get used to being here in Canada, but for now it doesnt work that well because Im pretty much bored all.the.time. I hate sitting at home...and thats what i do almost all the time here...cool. Not really. But anyway... yesterday I went out and did a photoshoot with Erin! She is beautiful inside and out. She is leaving for university in like 5 days, and honestly it sucks so much, because she is such a nice girl, and I think we could be really good friends if she wasnt leaving. We talk about everything and she is a very interesting person. Like she loves drama, books, adventures! So yes im pretty sad she is leaving so soon. But anyways, we did a photoshoot...and thats one photo I got time to edit, and seriously even I think its stunning! I love her pose, her closed eyes...everything looks just like I wanted it to.

and thats what I was wearing! It was pretty cool yesterday, I thought it was gonna rain..and it did but late at night, so thats good we did our photoshoot just on time!

Jeans, top- Garage
Cardigan- H&M
Bag- ALDO
Flats- some shop in Paris

Purse from Topshop and an umbrella from Accessorize!

scared to be forgotten?

People are used to forgetting something or someone. Its normal to forget, isnt it? But we never do realise that when YOU get forgotten by someone you really care about it hurts. It hurts so much that it gets into your heart and breaks it into pieces, because you never thought it would happen to you. You never even thought you would stop talking to people you loved. And then...when its happens you dont want to see the fact that its all over. You keep living in the past and you just keep thinking about all those memories you had together. And then when it comes to the understanding that its all done you are heartbroken. And its hard to forgive and forget because you will never do. It stays inside of you and never goes away.

4 days left? um.

Yeah. 4 days till I leave. Great. Im excited..but at the same time im not at all. Like Im scared to live at the new place and Im scared to fail something at my last year in school. I am gonna miss everyone so badly, its not even funny how much. When im here, at home I feel so safe and confiedent. When I came to Canada the last time I realised how unconfiedent I was. I used to be so popular here, everyone knew me and I knew everyone. Everyone wanted to be friends with me, and I had never thought in my entire life that it was gonna change. And it did. I felt like all these girls who are like grey mices and who are scared to even talk to someone. I felt like one of them, and I couldnt understand what was wrong how how to fix that! And Im still lost. I still have no idea what to do about my Canadian confiedence at all. Its a huge challenge for me but I know that I have to live through it to get somewhere. I want to achieve so much in my life, and I am fully aware Its gonna be hard and tough for me in the different country. I want to become someone. I want people to remember me. This year is gonna decide everything about my future. And I am gonna do everything to make it happen, because I want it to. Maybe its even good that I dont really have friends in Canada, except for Lena and Brooke...because maybe I will concentrate all my attention on my education and on my future. So..i guess life is gonna show me whatever it was for me. 

Busy busy busy.

My days have been so tiring. Like I go to bed at 4 or 5, because i edit pictures till then. And I wake up at like 7 because I have photoshoots to go to. Kinda crazy, isnt it? Well yesterday I went to Krasnodar with my parents. I got my face done (peelings, cleansing, masks), and after we went to get a purce for me. So I got one from Topshop and I love it! And of course after we went to McDonalds to get food for me. Its my tradition, because in my little town we dont really have any fastfood places. I know its a horrible habit!!! But I honestly dont do it too often. I promise! :) And I had to say goodbye to Dima, because he went to this handball competition thing... We were talking before, and he said that Im the only actual true friend he has. Awe. He is coming back on Friday, and Im leaving on Sunday...cool.
Today I had to wake up at 5:30 (!!!). I thought I was gonna fall or something in the middle of the day. I was sooo tired. I went to do a photoshoot. There was like 5 of them today. Its only 10:22 p.m and I feel like im sleeping already. Ive never felt that before. Its weird! After I went to my grandma`s and of course...she made pirogies. This Russian food..you know? Its really yummy. I had to eat one. :P ooops.
I guess, Im just gonna finish my lemon tea, go take a shower and finally go to bed...and guess what! I dont have to get up until 10 tomorrow!! Yaaay! (: Im excited to sleep in.
P.S. I will put up a picture of my bag tomorrow. 

...and again its 3 a.m.

I feel like Im supposed to live my life at night time. Like it just feels so much more comfortable to do something when its dark. I get more energy from the moon I guess ? I think i get too many thoughts at night-thats why I cant focus on sleeping. I remember when I was like 13 I thought that eating and sleeping are the waste of time. Turned out my mom had been thinking same way for some time when she was a teenager. Family tights maybe?
But anyway, today was a nice day. I spent some time with my girlfriends in the afternoon, and I hung out with my best friend Dima. You know its weird, but i had never had best guy-friends before I met him. He is great. He makes me laugh so much. We never do anything special-just walk down he street singing songs out loud and making fun of each other. And we love it! We trust each other with everything, and we talk about personal things. We can spend like 4 hours straight on the phone after hanging out. When I was in Europe, he messaged me and was like:" Juliaa! When are you coming back? I need to tell you so much, and there is no one I can talk to!" I felt so happy about it. I have no idea how i am going to survive without my friends when I go back to Canada in a WEEK? I cant believe Im leaving so soon. Time went by too fast. Its just unfair. Yes, I am happy to come back there...but you know, its really hard to leave my friends and family behind, because Internet Communication is not the same. Even Skype is never useful in these conditions. Oh well. I have survived half a year already, right? So i will do the next one.
Oh yeah, thats me and him at our graduation over a year ago.